oasisnetwork | 02: Ground Rules (Backdated to the 19th)

[ Dean had become increasingly agitated throughout the whole heated stand-off, stern anger puffing through his nose with each exhale. Even if he knew that Castiel was more than able to hold his own, the fact of the matter was he was still being threatened, something that Dean didn't take lightly. His family was still being attacked. It was still Cas and while it mattered that he could protect himself - enough so to keep Dean frozen where he stood - Dean was overflowing with opinions of his own, opinions that he was inclined to shout at the top of his lungs while stomping a few faces with his boot.

Purgatory had done a number on his violent tendencies.

But finally Castiel turned back to him and the angel's expression, his wayward nerves, clashed against the edges of Dean's anger and for the first time he realized that his fingers had curled into fist. In comparison, Castiel's trembled just enough to be noticeable, the quiet weight of them on his shoulder enough to draw his attention closer. With a sharp exhale, Dean glanced over towards the backs of Daryl and his friend before he once more looked to Cas, subtle rage cracked across his features.

As long as i'm not taking you into exile, was the first thing Dean wanted to say. He hadn't missed an ounce of Cas' self-deprecation and the dwindling remnants of his anger told him to rub it in Castiel's face. But for some reason this had torn him up, had left him looking like a punished puppy crawling into hiding. Dean couldn't break him that much further and so he finally forced a sigh, his attention wholly on Castiel as he nodded back towards the hotel. ]

C'mon, might as well head back.

[ Dean may have had his eyes on the hotel, but Castiel had his feet squarely planted in the ground exactly where he was. The idea of going back into the hotel, being surrounded by any walls, or manmade things, filled him with trepidation.

He was afraid, and he knew where he wanted to be--surrounded by trees, plants, life, insects, out in the forest where nothing (except you know, all the flesh eating zombies) could hurt him.

And so he responded automatically, since Dean was letting him hold on to his shoulder, and he took flight silently, took Dean with him, and vanished off the spot. His compass was off - had been since arriving here - so while they flew cleanly away, seeming to vanish instantly from where they were standing, there was no real aim to their landing, and they reappeared perhaps thirty yards beyond the gates, beyond where the thick forest pressed in around them. ]

Not the hotel, [ He insisted, wordlessly handing his blade across to Dean. He didn't want to have to stab anything right now, but that didn't mean that he didn't understand that stabbing things might be crucial. But as he passes the blade he falters: ] Is this... Is this okay? I can send you back if you like.

[ Actually he didn't know if he could, he might just as easily teleport Dean into the lake. ]

[ The only reason Dean had eyes on the hotel was simply because it was a point of reference. There wasn't anywhere else he could immediately angle towards yet and he knew Cas was attempting to make it a hideaway of sorts. So it seemed like the obvious choice. Maybe too obvious.

But really, all of that just meant that he was even more caught off guard when Cas flew them out of the scene, not even offering enough time to warn him. Granted, he'd been dragged along enough times by Cas now that he only vaguely minded the sudden stomach churning shift in gravity, that wasn't the point when he just wanted to know why they were here instead of somewhere else. Somewhere not amongst the trees and nature and-- oh. Right. Yeah. Okay. It made sense.

Dean's brow furrowed as Cas began to hand over the blade and while Dean took it, it did so with slight hesitation. ]

Yeah, it's- uh, great, Cas. [ He cleared his throat and grasped the hilt a little more tightly, confidently. ] It's fine, i'm sticking around. You don't get to be by yourself right now.

[ And while Dean tried to make that sound authoratative, he knew there was only so much sway he held over the situation. That didn't mean he wanted Cas to exile himself for both of them - not at all. He wanted to keep an eye on the angel for any number of reasons and so he stood taller, looked significantly harder to push over, and tried to be Cas' pillar this time around. ]

[ Nature. It's true, Cas is very happy so long as he's surrounded by nature, and it makes him feel safe. He cocks his head upward, looking toward the trees above them. He doesn't even really respond to Dean's comment, but it's obvious from his expression that he's relaxed, some of the tension disappearing from his forehead. His eyes do narrow slightly, though; he's listening, squinting into the brightness, trying to fix on something up there.

The hum of bees.

He looks across toward Dean a moment later, and lowers his hand from his shoulder a second after that, only just realizing that he's still holding on. ]

Could we... [ A hopeful note in his voice. Like he's totally forgotten why they're out here in the first place. You know. All that posturing stuff and exile. He's so rude. ] Could we take the forest back to the hotel?

[ Watching Castiel carefully, Dean's gaze follows along after the angel's but somehow misses exactly what it is he's looking at. Dean blinks off into the distance, looking but not seeing, before finally glances directly at Cas, worry flashing across his features just long enough for it to be seen. But Cas finally removes his hand and asks his question, which... doesn't clear anything up. Dean's hands ease into his pockets and he can wholly feet the shift of the dirt underneath his feet, but it doesn't change the fact that he doesn't quite know what it is Castiel wants. ]

Uh- okay. Okay.

[ Tipping his head gently, looking at Cas like he'd forgotten just how careful he needed to be sometimes, Dean eased his voice along. ] What part are we bringing back?

[ He rocks back on his heel, then steps off into the underbrush, looking up every few seconds, following something only he can see. ]

Right at Peace. Straight on past Passion--

[ He stops, spins on his heel and goes back the other way, stopping again beside the big red flower. ] Passion.

[ He looks up again at the sky, and bites his lip for a moment, looking a little disappointed, a little lost, before pivoting back around again, not quite one hundred and eighty degrees. He steps away into the brush once more, and then barks with muted angelic delight: ] Hot Lips. Here you are.

[ A pinkish, slightly peachy flower with thick, viscous petals spread wide in the shape of puckered lips. A bee is crawling along the petal's edge, and Castiel comes over to crouch beside it. Up in the canopy above them is a low hum from his nest, loud enough that even Dean can hear them. ]

[ Okay, there's Cas being weird and then there's Cas being weird, and he's officially broken past the sound barrier. Strange flowers aside, Dean couldn't care less and maybe he should. He honestly doesn't know. All Dean can do is gawk, concerning furrowing his brow deeper and deeper until he's left glancing around himself, trying to get a grip on the situation but coming up empty handed. There is nothing he can do for Castiel at certain points and he knows it; it's something that tears him up inside.

It's all he can do to keep from shaking Cas until he somehow finds a way into his brain but for now all Dean does is wait, taking the occasional step forward and then one more, handing lifting outstretched. ]

Cas. Cas. The hell are you doing?

[ Dean is so unobservant. Castiel casts him one more glance, before dismissing it. Wasn't like Dean was really that interested in bees before, either. But there was nothing alive in the forests of Purgatory but the monsters, and Castiel had almost forgotten how beautiful they were, how beautiful everything was.

He reaches forward and catches the bee in mid-air, and then ever so gently places it on the back of his hand, raising it up where he can see it crawling toward him. ]

One little drone, blindly doing what he's told, until he's eaten by a bird or simply drops down dead from exhaustion, only to be replaced by another; an endless supply of workers serving unwritten rules with no idea why.

[ The little bee takes off, and flies up into the canopy. ]

Don't you envy them? They've never had free will, so they can't... [ Trailing off, now. ]

[ Dean knows he's unobservant when it comes to some things, but the important shit? That he sees. And right now, all he sees is Cas. All he sees is someone torn up inside, angel or not. While he might not fully understand, all he can look at is Cas, who's been frayed at the edges and peeled wide open in only the ways he can be. Dean goes from serious to concerned to worried in the span of seconds and he finally moves closer, trying to breathe easy and failing miserably at keeping the concern from his tone. ]

So they can't fuck it up- yeah, great. Good for them.

[ But he can't really care about the damn bees, even if Cas wants him to. If Cas wants to bring them along then fine, whatever - that's not the point. There's nothing there in all of that for him, though he knows what it is to follow someone blindly. Dean just doesn't see it staring him in the face when he looks at the little annoying bugs.

Instead, he sees it when he looks at the angel. ]

I am not replacing you. Doesn't that count for something, here? Or are you forgetting that part just to make this work to your advantage. [ He was trying to be stern, trying to get Castiel's attention, but he faltered within the span of seconds, his voice wavering worriedly as he moved in at Cas' side. Dean somehow wished he could make this feel better but he didn't know how when he couldn't figure out where it had all gone wrong. ]

Look- Cas. I'm kinda feelin' like I missed something back there, you're gonna have to clue me in.

[ Castiel doesn't want to face it - any of it - because confronting it makes it all that much more real. He knows how unstable he is, how dangerous, and while at the moment he's not bringing any Leviathan down on their heads, how long is it going to be before he endangers Dean one way or another. Retreating back into his poor, damaged mind was better, in some ways.

And yes, he was trying to ditch Dean. Sort of. He was trying to throw him to those people - his people, who actually liked him - and make a break for it, because Dean would be better off surrounded by human beings. But at the same time it's not even remotely what he wants to do: he's just afraid, afraid for himself, afraid for Dean, but mostly afraid for a world with him in it. ]

If we try to fix this world too, [ He said, shakily, ] What's to stop us making things even worse than they already are? I break-- [ He grimaces. ] --I break everything I touch, Dean. Everything.

[ Dean stills halfway through a heavy sigh, expression falling more than a little at Castiel's words. Because there it was, something he could do nearly nothing about. Castiel was pushing everything else away because of this, everything including him, because he was terrified of fucking it all up. And really, who out of all of them, hadn't screwed something up? What hadn't he done wrong, what hadn't Sam- out of all the good things they'd managed, they'd done just as many awful and Dean couldn't deny it.

He couldn't take any of it back. ]

Did you break me? Huh? Did you? [ It's the first thing he can think of to say, his mind still reeling back to the moment he was dragged from Hell. It felt like eons ago but it still counted for something, right? But it was just as likely that Cas would come up with some part of that he'd screwed up too and what could Dean say to that. ]

I get it, okay. You know I do. Freaking out, thinking you can't make any of this right. But Cas, you can't skip out on me here. I need you. Your help, your screwups, all of it. And I know, you don't want to fuck it up, I know you. But you're not gonna break this.

[ It's true that Castiel could argue that he'd broken him, broken the world. The truth was that if he'd never reached into Hell and pulled Dean out, the apocalypse would have never have begun, his garrison wouldn't have been obliterated, and everything would have continued on, just the same as it had ever been.

One choice, just like that one, could have changed their entire path for the better.

His eyes drop, and while he's afraid still, Dean's words are a little reassuring. Just like back at the lake, he was needed, no matter what he had to say about it. He held still, tense, and considered putting up a fight just because he could, but then his attention returned to the bee on his hand. It vibrated its wings, then took off, rising up toward the nest above them. ]

You should stay here until I secure the nest. They won't be very happy. [ As though they weren't having a serious conversation. ]

Hey.

[ Deat shot the word back angrily, glowering sharply at the sudden turn again in the conversation. Cas was the one who always wanted to talk about things, so of course, the second it's about him, the conversation seemed to have every right to move how he chose it to. Which was altogether not fair, because it seemed as soon as Dean was roped into talking about things he didn't want to talk about, Cas swerved the momentum away and turned it onto something else. In this case it was bees, but Dean didn't care - it could've been about anything and he would've been just as pissed.

Moving the rest of the way over, Dean makes a grab for Cas' coat, giving him a significant tug or two to focus his attention back on him and drag it away from the bees. They were talking about this now. Right now. And not only when Cas wanted to. ]

We're talking first, then you can hang with the bees. Got it? I'm not letting this one go just because you want it to.

[ It's so evasive. Dean, of course, is on top of him, not giving up on getting Cas to fess up, and well somebody has to. It isn't like anyone else is going to pull that weight, or even notice when he's dodging responsibility.

Still, for a second Cas keeps trying to look at the bee, before Dean gives him a second shake to get his attention down again. He stares, clearly unsettled, but not trying to pull away. ]

I... I understand.

[ That expression like he sure did want to run like hell. ]

Dean, I... I didn't want to endanger your relationship with these people. They may not be your people, but they're human, some of them. If they're afraid of me, and they have every reason to be...

My relationship? Cas, what relationship?

[ Dean slowly lets Cas go, but he doesn't give him back his space, taking up all his room if only to make a point that he isn't going anywhere. And even then, there's no way he's letting Cas make that decision on his own - he doesn't get to push him away when he's mostly sane, not if there's an ounce of his own personal say in it.

Especially when Dean can't help but see a lack of relationships wherever he goes. It's not like he knows how to make friends, how to play well with others, and it's all he can do to play nice for at least a little while. Cas isn't the only one who destroys everything he touches and Dean knows for a fact that he shouldn't be around others. Not just because he doesn't even know how to play nice, but because he can't keep people safe when they're too damn close. He tried that for awhile, failed miserably at it, and let it all go. And after that, there's only one thing and he knows and it's-- ]

You're family, Cas. It doesn't matter who they are or what they think of you- you come first. And don't you tell me that I should care more about them because that doesn't have anything to do with you. Right now it's you and me, that's all I know. You got it?

Why?

[ He spat the word out very suddenly. It was a shattered sounding word, like it was cutting right into his heart to get it out. He looked at Dean with a sort of hurt desperation. ]

After everything I did to you? Lying, going behind your back, the way I condemned Sam without even knowing him--the people I killed; the angels. I let loose a scourge that was one small gesture away from enslaving humanity as a food source. I'm a terrible angel, Dean. If I can't even protect humanity from myself, what right do I have to try and protect you?

I don't deserve your compassion.

[ Family, really? Is he really family? How can that be true? He's so self deprecating at the moment that he doesn't believe he deserves that either. ]

All I've ever done is put you in more danger.

You think this has something to do with what you deserve? Cause the way I see it, none of us deserves shit. Not me, not Sam, not you. We've all fucked up, gotten things wrong, hurt people. Every one of us.

But we're still family.

[ The word holds a certain amount of triumph to Dean, like if he says it enough times that maybe Cas will be able to pick up on the significance behind it. Maybe he'll be able to see just how much it means to Dean and won't be so inclined to brush it aside and cling once again to his self deprecation. ]

The things you've screwed up- they don't take that away. Don't suddenly mean i'm gonna give up on you because hell, I tried that too and it didn't make anything better. The only way I see us getting through anything anymore is if you quit trying to put yourself on the outside.

[ The reiteration of family only makes Castiel pay a little more attention, raising his chin just a little so that he can meet his eyes. It's shy, and uncertain, and a little bit hopeful, but he can't help that deep and abiding truth beating at the inside of his skull anyway--he does deserve this. He's done such awful things. Why is Dean coming down on his side after everything?

Maybe he's a glutton for punishment too.

And he'd accept that if not for the 'You're family' thing. It's unendingly meaningful. What Dean wouldn't do for his family, and what Castiel hadn't tried to do for his. Family, to a Winchester, meant fighting right up to the bitter end for them. How long had he wanted to be a part of that, looking in from the outside? And now it was just being offered to him like this, meaningful and intent. ]

I'll stay inside the walls, [ He says, softly, but he means more than just the physical ones. ] I... I'll stay with you.

That was never up for debate.

[ Dean doesn't even need to weigh the words or stare Cas down as he says them, not when he means them wholly. It had never been a conversation in his eyes, as to whether or not Cas would be in exile for the rest of who knows how long. Because Cas was just never going to be given that option. Granted, it's undeniably true that Cas could leave without a moment's notice and while Dean knows that intrinsically, he also knows that if he has sway over one ounce of this, that he's going to use and abuse it to the best of his ability. Cas isn't going anywhere, not if he has a say in it - and if he does go? Then Dean is following.

Averting his gaze upwards to where Cas had been looking earlier, Dean squints through the canopy and tries to get a grip. There's a certain amount of terror that comes with the thought of losing Cas, of letting him walk away just like that, and so it takes him another moment to let it dwindle before he can move on adequately. It's a solid reminder of where Cas had gone and where he could go and just how strongly Dean holds on at the threat of loss.

He can't lose Cas. Not again. Not like he did last time. ]

How many of these guys are you bringin' back?

Edited 2016-02-24 21:46 (UTC)

[ Cas is grateful for that reassurance. Not up for debate. Well that settles that, then. It's a flaw with him, after all; he does what the Winchesters tell him to, more or less. Like for example they say "let's kill those Leviathan" and eventually, cajoling aside, that's what Castiel helps them to do.

So he can accept Dean being the one giving him orders, if only because he doesn't have anyone else to give them to him right now. He needs that safety net.

When Dean's attention goes up, Castiel looks back up as well. ]

A hive of bees is only successful because it's a family; a well oiled machine. Every member has its own job to do. If too many of the drones die, or there isn't enough nectar to collect, the bees can't make enough honey to survive the lean periods.

It's necessary that we take the entire nest. A family should stick together.

[ Dean doesn't quite get to the point where he lets himself smile at the commentary, but he eases up a bit, his shoulders relaxing as he watches the stupid bees in their stupid nest. It's only at that moment that he becomes aware of the fact that he's about to get stuck with them. Because while he doesn't get it - and likely never will - he can get behind the sentiment. Even if he figures it's at least somewhat forced by Cas in an attempt to be.. well, something more.

Doesn't mean he isn't okay with that in a silent kind of way.

His gaze slowly draws away from the nest, only to settle back onto Cas with eyebrows raised in tired question. ]

Is asking them to stay on your side of the room gonna be a little too much to ask?

[ It's an angel thing, if Dean hasn't figured it out already. The hive is Heaven, and the bees are angels, and Castiel thinks that if he can make the hive thrive, protect all the little drones, then maybe he can fix Heaven too, fix his family, or perhaps at the very least learn enough about what bees do right to figure out what Heaven is doing so wrong.

In any case, he gives his head a slight shake. ] They won't be interested in you. So long as you treat them with respect, they'll leave you be.

[ He tips his head toward the tree. ] I'll need to climb up. If anything comes for you in the meantime...

[ Not like he needed to tell Dean to kill the zombies that tried to eat him. Not really. ]

[ Dean had figured it out to a certain extent. Not that he completely understood, but he was getting there. Enough so that he left it alone, figuring he'd allow Cas to have this one thing if it made him feel better about everything that had gone wrong. He might as well have some kind of comfort and if it was going to be bees then, well, he'd figure out a way to live with it. The guy was allowed to have something in life, and if it made him feel more connected to Heaven and his feathered brethren, then who was he to judge.

Except he might have judged a little because why did it have to be bees? ]

Respect. Great. I'll just have a heart to heart with the hive and it'll all be fine and dandy.

[ He still sounded halfway perturbed, but it wasn't that much more than posturing. Glancing around himself as he spoke, Dean went back to guard duty, giving Castiel whatever space he needed to get this over with so they could head back. Because as keen as Dean was to spark up a fight, he wasn't itching to go mano y zombie horde; he didn't feel like proving that one to himself. ]

Make it quick.

Good, [ He chirps. ] Wonderful.

[ And then he begins climbing the tree that the hive is attached to. He's remarkably spry for a radio advertising salesman, but he clambers easily up through the branches, trying to disturb them as little as possible.

When he gets up to the hive, Castiel pauses for a moment, adjusting his position on the branches. The bees aren't immediately aware of him as a threat, but they hum steadily none the less, as though having a conference in their tiny vibration-y way. Castiel is careful, slow, reaching out to place his hand on the hive.

Immediately, all the bees went to sleep, and the humming ceased. Satisfied, Castiel reached up, cutting the branch that the hive was attached to, before lightly jumping down the three stories or so to the ground, to land beside Dean. His foot crunches a branch as he lands, but that's almost all the noise he makes. ]

Was that quick enough?

[ Boy, Dean would wonder if that was sarcasm if it was anyone other than Cas. But it is and that wasn't sarcasm.

And so Dean commences casually watching Cas scamper up the tree. Though, he does keep an eye on the forest surround, glancing around every other second and listening for the creak of branches and shuffle of feet on soft dirt. Even if he isn't the best at listening, he still manages, straining to hear what he can over the sound of Cas' boots against the bark of the tree.

Squinting back up again, Dean gives a minute shake of his head as Cas quiets the hive before cutting it down. There was something about the gentleness with which he did it, the care behind his touch that was frustratingly unique. But even so, he grimaces even before Cas takes hold and moves to jump down, all but flinching as the angel crunches on a stubborn branch. ]

Good enough for me. They'll make it back without a problem?

02: Ground Rules (Backdated to the 19th)

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